The Surrendered Path

If you feel God is not speaking to you in your life, it is my absolute pleasure to tell you, I have good hunch, you just aren’t yet listening. I know this from personal experience, I sure wasn’t always listening or even understanding how.

If you haven’t yet lived the awe that brings you to your knees, knocking the wind out of your chest, simultaneously filling your eyes with tears while your heart expands past what you have ever felt before, overwhelming your mind with love and gratitude, if you haven’t burst out in laughter when you realize how much bigger than you it all is, and marveled, knowingly, at universal truths in your core…. I smile for you, because it can get SO good.

God’s divine timing is not a gift for some and not others. There are not people who deserve this experience more than others. Everyone is capable. I believe there are people who have experienced God as their life has lead them to God already, while others may not have yet reached that moment on their path. That’s it. Not better, just different.

When we become open and receptive, we can see it. I got there, experiencing it for the first time, and when your timing is right, you will experience one of the most incredible ‘beyond words’ joys of life that truly brings you ALIVE. You may realize, before that moment, you were on auto pilot, completely distracted by the material world.

I truly believe it’s possible for every single human to experience God and the accompanying feeling of universal consciousness and Heaven on Earth.

More and more, I’m feeling we are spiritual beings having a physical experience. Not thinking anymore that we are physical beings, who have the ability to have a spiritual experience. Everything is energy and vibration.

Everyone deserves to experience at least one (preferably for me, regular occurrences) mystical experience in their lifetime. A truly massive overload to the system where all doubt is long gone, all truth is known, leaving only chills and goosebumps and an activated force within.

This writing is nothing more than a hint, meant to alert you to symbols, thoughts, dreams, synchronicities, coincidences, divine interventions, random conversations, and just about everything that happens all around you. It’s surrounding you at every moment. You just need to connect.

In our modern life it’s way too easy to be distracted by convenience, luxury, being busy, drama, work, television, technology, social media etc, these programs blind us and override our soul. Incredible moments around us are missed.

If this seems too overwhelming to you to claim your birthright to this level of experience in life, there’s nothing wrong with that. “I am that I am.” That is true for every person.

If you wanted to open yourself up to experiencing this, or experience it more, there are endless spiritual mindful things you could begin to incorporate and explore to intentionally experience life.

Some start by having conversations with those already experiencing Divine moments that bring permanent smiles to their faces, write poetry, write stories, draw sacred geometry, play bringing out your inner childlike joy. Others start by going inward with meditation, and finding stillness and silence, which pairs beautifully with nature. I know some who start their day reading the Bible, reading great works, those who sing songs that resonate in their bones with something bigger, some use essential oils and aromatherapy to center their mind and stimulate the bodies centers, some practice yoga and physical movement, maybe Tai Chi, some meditate quietly clearing their mind, some take long walks in nature, some pray, some do rosary beads, some journal, some use grounding getting their toes on earth’s surface, some use mantras, mudras, or poses to hold, some watch the sunrise, some breathe in life force energy and feel it through their body, some do breath work, some chant, some go on retreats, some use a tuning fork to play the Earth’s vibrations like the Great Pyramid does, some play vibrations though musical instruments, some experience sound deprivation chambers while others do sound baths, there are endless ways to connect with the Divine, including both all of the things not listed here, and combinations of things together. It is within. There is only what’s right for you, how God speaks to you, through other things, and through you to others. Your journey is special and its yours.

If you are curious to feel this just start opening your mind to patterns and experiences if you feel inclined and closely watching what unfolds.

We are all on our own path and I would never want to take away a moment of someone’s journey or imply it’s wrong if you haven’t lived how I lived. How ridiculous would that be. There is not a single path. We all have the ability to learn from each other. There is not a human on earth I could speak with and not learn from.

It’s YOUR moment, your journey, your spirituality to explore, your one great life in this body.

It IS what it IS, and it’s YOURS, it’s part of this epic book you’re writing in life, and you can be at any point in the story.

There are people exactly where I am, there are people further along than me, there are people right on the cusp of experiencing what I have experienced. Its all different. Its all right and perfect. Your journey can’t be wrong. It’s all personal. It’s all our journey, and it’s fun to have all of those different layers of experience to hear about from others. One of my most cherished memories is sitting in the grass, staring at the infinite ocean, enjoying a breathtaking sunset while hearing about a friend’s spiritual journey. It’s inspiring.

Right now is an incredible time to be alive, I hear about more and more mystical experiences people are living and deeper spiritual journeys people are on.

Any and all journeys begin with a single step.

I believe I’ve missed and unknowingly ignored decades of God’s role in my life.

My first step, that I vividly recall, wasn’t until my dad, Eric, passed back when I was 21. That’s when I first started noticing repeat patterns in my life. They got my attention, that’s for sure, but I didn’t know what to do with the information and generally would think, “Wow. That’s random, how weird is that, what’s going on?” and then pause intensely and move on slowly.

I had moments over the next transformative decade where facing birth transitions into life and transitions out of life into the non physical surrounded me, I got closer to knowing myself. Moments where regaining my own personal health, just as I knew I would, changed me, closer to knowing the power of our minds and, as Joe Dispenza says, where we place our attention is where we place our energy. I got closer to knowing my body physically and the home birth of my daughter changed me. It’s connected in a lot of ways, physical, mental, spirit and soul.

It was a few years later, when I had taken another step forward, into the unknown, and pushed past fear, full of love and understanding for all those involved, that Parker’s Dad and I acknowledged our friendship (we had traveled all of the transformative roads together), we thanked each other for the support and lessons learned, and stepped out honestly to ourselves as a team, but not a union. That level of alignment, that level of authenticity to myself changed me. I was no longer doing what was expected of me, against myself. It led to strengthening my physical body, my mental body, my spiritual body – I listened to my soul.

Big life moments have the ability to awaken us to what’s inside and all around us.

I am extremely grateful for all of the changes in my life because each time I have stepped into the unknown, creativity has found me, love has found me, and inspiration has found me, life is incredible.

Just since Beckham’s birth, symbols, thoughts, dreams, synchronicities, coincidences, divine interventions, random conversations, and just about everything that happens has lead me on the ultimate adventure. I am exploding with gratitude for this path.

I am paying such close attention now. My dad, David, returning to the stars amplified everything into overdrive. Weekly or monthly spiritual experiences became daily, hourly and sometimes they came so fast I was unable to process it all, I just enjoyed and would meditate in silence later letting it all get unpacked, finding the clear message.

Things all happen FOR us, not TO us. If we, instead of seeing TRUTH and BEAUTY, still see ourselves as the incapable victim we are missing the entire point and gift. That’s a hard transition, our ego will fight it at every turn. It’s safe, it’s comforting being the victim who is ‘right’ and had something unfair happen to them, to make others wrong. The ego loves it. I have felt that too in life. To see others as wrong, and ourselves as right, it toxic, and addicting.

When we realize it’s all our choice, we all are anything but incapable or victims, we are intimate beings, we begin to see the gifts each situation has brought us. Each learning moment. All of life becomes seen through a different lens. In every possible way, a better lens. A more loving, peaceful, and brilliantly perfect clear lens.

When people lash out at you, you begin to see it was never about you. You can’t even be mad. It’s the pain they are carrying around being triggered. It becomes so incredibly easy, that you forgive them, as it’s happening, (in some cases you can get lost in it for a minute, caught off guard or shocked, but the ultimate ability is to bring yourself back to the present as fast as you can) and send them love. You see their pain body they are dragging around, one that you once were tied to, and, instead, you feel sympathy and love. Anything else is madness.

The alternative is what? Making them wrong in your mind; repeating this over and over in your conscious and subconscious mind and then holding them as “wrong” and yourself as “righteous” in the dark. Show me where life’s most incredible Teacher, Jesus, ever even remotely lived that way or said that. He didn’t. Buddha didn’t, Ghandi didn’t, Mother Theresa didn’t, any spiritual sage says nothing like that. Because that’s the fastest way to live in hell and torture yourself. Understanding this is one of lifes biggest gifts.

And how do I know that’s the alternative? Because we’ve all done it, and personally I’ve done it many, many times throughout my life. We are programmed to do this.

That’s what makes this such an incredible hurdle to jump. Seeing the hurdle is there is the first step. Slowly, stepping over it intentionally is the second step. More and more often you will see it and watch yourself get closer instead of having it come up on you quickly. You will be less and less blind. You will practice jumping over it, faster and faster, sometimes you will fall, but how fast you get back up and go again is what it’s all about. Perfect isn’t the goal, present and living your best life is.

When you don’t yet practice forgiveness as a way of life, which is what we would all want if the tables were turned, we are only hurting ourselves. Forgiveness lights our path to the Divine, helping us see. Forgiveness is seeing yourself and loving yourself and seeing others as one with you, seeing what you don’t like, is most likely a reflection of, or a characteristic of your own past self. See those hurdles and jump over them, with a faster and faster reaction time.

Understanding that to make someone “wrong”, we have to stand there in the darkness HOLDING them there; you realize that YOU are the one standing there. Alone. Its only ever you. YOU have to physically be in the dark to be “putting them” in the dark.

Once you become conscious to this pattern, you wake up and realize that in the dark, it’s always just been you standing there, all alone with your thoughts. The person you were making “wrong”, is not there. You are blocking yourself from love and forgiveness which YOU deserve to give to yourself – and them. That’s when you smile, and you take yourself out of the darkness.

We are all doing the best we can, and chances are, if you were born in that person’s body with that person’s parents and with that person’s life experiences, you would end up exactly where they are, making the decision that they think is the absolute best. Not everyone is dealt the same hand in life. We are only ever trying to do our best, what we think will make us feel better in every moment.

How could we ever judge another when you really deeply understand that we are all one, we are all connected, and at far different parts of our journey it makes it impossible to ever make another person “wrong”.

This is when we begin to see ourselves in others. That thing we don’t like, we have seen before in ourselves. That’s a tough pill, but it’s a beautiful one when you can forgive yourself and your past. We are all doing our best, and “our best” is defined as day to day changes and year to year. Looking back if you like where you are now, you can’t change the past as that’s what got you here. Find the gratitude for your journey.

This is the growth that’s going to decrease your distractions living in the dark. This will bring you more light radiating from your body and increase your mystical experiences. I believe this is our greatest gift on Earth, to live these experiences.

The death of the ego is a milestone in life that the body will fight to the death at every turn. People won’t like you, don’t be different, you will be loved conditionally, you will be judged, people won’t understand, people will laugh and think you are stupid, all of these thoughts come to our minds.

Training is one day at a time, one step at a time, ignoring that little inner voice in you head and living your truth. Hearing the way the flow of life is leading your life, following the things presented to you to learn, helping people the way you have been helped, and letting judgment, thrown your way, simply melt away.

When God leads you, when something higher leads the way, you realize it doesn’t matter when people don’t understand, you listen, faithfully. You know, one day, many, many stepping stones later, looking back, it was all perfect, you just had to get your ego out of the way. Because we judge what we do not know or do not yet understand. If someone is judging you, they are judging themselves, they judge, that’s what they do . It’s not about you, send them love for they are on a step of their journey where they are learning and growing.

I believe the ego is a lifelong friend we use to make us better. Listening, seeing, and overcoming each hurdle it builds. It makes us better.

To let the ego die and be reborn to the light, speaking, feeling, and radiating the Divine light within us, I see this as a worthy lifelong journey.

As I had this thought yesterday, after many signs pointed me here, to have this honest stream of thoughts written, just outside the windows I was facing, I thought what a blissful confirmation would this be that this is what I’m meant to do next.

Just then, in a way I had never seen quite before, the sunshine outside went dark, like a light switch, for a split second, and in a flash it was daylight again. It wasn’t windy, it wasn’t a fast cloud, it was amazing to see. For years now, I see flickering light catch my eye, and it’s always at profound humbling times sending a message. Feels like a little Morse code from the Divine, I welcome it.

In that moment, a smile formed across my face. I knew, yes, I had to write this, the ego is dying, truth is being spoken. When I looked down at my phone in this next moment it was 3:33 and I burst out with euphoric laughter. The universe has a sense of humor.

The original synchronicity, the original Godwink, symbol, sign I first received that got my attention was the minute my dad, Eric, passed, 3:33am. I’ve seen it millions of times. At some point we realize the odds are against it, it’s statistically impossible for it to be random and show up the way it does at the exact moments it does. It’s just one of thousands of patterns that repeat. And that brilliant nauseating moment is when we realize how much more there is to life, we never forget the awe.

“What is the surrendered state? It means to be free of negative feelings in a given area so that creativity and spontaneity can manifest without opposition or the interference of inner conflicts. To be free of inner conflict and expectations is to give others in our life the greatest freedom.”-David Hawkins, Letting Go

I’m just sayin.

Xo, Katie